Kill The Boy Band | Book Review


Author: Goldy Moldavsky

Rating: 2.5/5 Stars


From debut author Goldy Moldavsky, the story of four superfan friends whose devotion to their favorite boy band has darkly comical and murderous results.

Okay, so just know from the start that it wasn’t supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near The Ruperts, our favorite boy band.

We didn’t mean to kidnap one of the guys. It kind of, sort of happened that way. But now he’s tied up in our hotel room. And the worst part of all, it’s Rupert P. All four members of The Ruperts might have the same first name, but they couldn’t be more different. And Rupert P. is the biggest flop out of the whole group.

We didn’t mean to hold hostage a member of The Ruperts, I swear. At least, I didn’t. We are fans. Okay, superfans who spend all of our free time tweeting about the boys and updating our fan tumblrs. But so what, that’s what you do when you love a group so much it hurts.

How did it get this far? Who knows. I mean midterms are coming up. I really do not have time to go to hell.


Well…what can I say. I’m pretty sure many of us have had those craze fan girl obsession days and have dreamed of having this happen to us, but to be real here, I’m pretty sure none of this would happen. It’s just not even possible, and I dislike when stories are not even possible is some other dimension.

This story was so far-fetched, the only reason I finished it was because I was stuck in a car for the entire day. And I had to force myself to finish the book, in fact, since all my other books were packed away in my suitcase.

When I first received news about this book coming out, I reacted like one of those seagulls from Finding Nemo (Mine!Mine!Mine!). I mean, who wouldn’t want a book that was written directly towards crazed fans?! But, when you actually start reading it, the author could have at least made it a bit more realistic in facts. Also, all the swearing? I mean, do 15 year old girls actually swear after every word now a days? I felt like it was unnecessary to the storyline in general. You could throw in a few name-callings, but I’m pretty sure this is the first book that I have read with this much swearing in it, and that’s saying something. And all the members name was Rupert and tried out for a talent tv show, so they were forced to make a boy band together. Let’s also not forget that in order to be popular with the girls, they also had to be made a British boy band. Hmmmm, sound a bit familiar, right?

None the less, this book capture the very real world of a fan. Stalking, decorating your bedroom walls in posters and even staying outside hotels just to catch a glimpse of whatever person or band may or may not be in there.

I think the story was suppose to be told as a confession to an officer, but I did not really understand it until the very end. What I mean is, it was not much of a rebelling, but more of a ‘you had to be there’ type thing. How the whole story was laid out seem to be a mess as well. It was jumping around from one point to another, never really giving you a straight answer. For instance, it was talking about the one girls (Apples) large hideous orange suitcase, and how it would be explained later in the story. Sure, about 3 chapters later, but it didn’t actually explain why she had such a large suitcase. Do you want to know what it told us?

She had a suitcase of popcorn. FREAKING POPCORN! Why? Don’t know, never told us as to why this girl was carrying popcorn with her. Also on the topic of this friend, who in their right mind names their freaking kid Apple? Of all the names to pick, Apple just happened to be the winner?

Anyways, this story was a mess from start to finish. The constant flashbacks, and then everyone is accusing everyone of everything, then one thinks she is going crazy. Gosh! This is one bad train wreak that has fallen way off its tracks.

If you do end up reading this book, be warned! It takes a lot of brain power to understand what you will end up reading. If this review was not a warning enough, then please by all means, read it at your own risk.

-Read On Darlings!


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